LP guide for newbies

You love to watch let's plays and want to make let's plays of your own, huh? Well here's a good hint. DON'T!

But if you still insist on doing it then here is step by step guide how to do it right.

First of all, do not use videocamera, webcam, phone camera, ANYTHING THAT IS RELATED TO CAMERA! to make your let's plays. If you can't make a let's play of the game you want then don't do it untill you get proper equipments to record it properly. If you are using video, web, phone camera you aren't just stupid but you're also down right retard.

"If I can't use my video, web, phone camera what do I use?!" There are plenty of recording programs and methods to do let's plays right. If you have fast computer then use Camstasia. If your computer sucks balls as much as mine does, then the most lightweight recording program I know would be ZD Soft Game Recorder. If you are going to record console games then at least be decent enough to get a recording DVD player and learn to use some sort of a video editing tool.

"Alright, I found a recorder that suits my needs, what now?" Register that shit. Nothing is more ugly than to see a ass huge "This retard didn't bother to register me!" sigh in the middle of the damn video. There are plenty of torrents with cracks and passwords or you may even register it legally if you like to support a good product. That's what I did.

"What if I don't want to register it?" Then you're just a stupid asshole. At least use big enough resolution to make the watermark as invisible as possible and with big enough resolution I don't mean that you will make the game lag like your grandma.

"Alright, I have registered the thing, can I LP now?" Technically yes but just few precautions at first. First of all, DO NOT FUCKING SWALLOW THE MIC like you do your dad's penis! Keep distance from the microphone, usually good distance would be when you don't hear your own breathing. Move the microphone above or below to your mouth.

Next thing to find out is wether your soundcard supports stereo mix and can it be adjusted. If it can be adjusted then make the game audio lower than your voice but still make sure that people can hear the musics, cutscenes "Don't talk during the cutscenes btw, it's annoying." and sound effects. How ever, if your soundcard does not support stereomix then just move your speakers as close as possible to your microphone and adjust volume quite high. When you do this, it is suggested to make couple of test records to get it right.

"k, still something else?" Yes, a lot of else. Don't play games that lag on your computer, make sure that recording FPS is at leat 25-30 at minium, the higher the FPS the better the quality. Also make sure that shit doesn't look blurry, no one wants to watch pixelated crap.

Next thing, a few words about games you are going to let's play.

FOR FUCKSHAKE DON'T MAKE A LET'S PLAY OF FOLLOWING GAMES!

Super Mario "No, you are not original no matter what hack or version of Super Mario you play." Zelda "Another game that's been so overdone that it is not even funny." Metroid "Done, done and done." Donkey Kong "Just youtube search it to find out how many time's this has been done already." I wanna be the guy "If you do a let's play of this, I will come and seriously beat you up with a stick." Castlevania "They aren't original either." Metal Gear "You can't do it right anyways." Final Fantasy "Not a good idea, seriously. Don't LP ass long RPG games." Any other overly done game that's been done bazillion times already.

"If I can't LP those games then what do I LP?" Oh you can play them but it just means that you are unoriginal and fucking retarded. Look around you stupid asshole, there are shit load of intresting games for NES, SNES, SEGA GENESIS and any other console that hasn't been done already.

If you see someone getting popular because of certain LP they've done it doesn't mean you should do the same damn LP as well. It doesn't make you popular, just a stupid copycat who should stop making Let's plays before you even begin.

Alright, I suppose that covers it all. Just follow these instructions and you'll be good in no time.